Nothing to hide
Last weekend was Thunder In The Mountains and though I didnt go to the playparty myself (no girlfriend) they did do something unique with the playspaces there. One playspace was for heterosexuals, one for gay men, and one for gay women.
The idea behind it seems reasonable enough. An attempt to deter energy vampires. Many folks just get uncomfortable being watched by someone who is not part of “their group”. So segregated dungeons were created in order to give people at least a taste of privacy.
Leaving aside the debate on what does or dosent constitute male and female, the setup for the playspaces let me thinking about sexual privacy in general. In adaption to the rules for the dungeons, there was the standard rules about being on your best behavior while in the public areas of the hotel. Even though the host hotel was sold out, there was still an expectation that you didnt go prancing around the lobby buck nekid.
There are multiple reasons why people in the kink community want their sexuality to remain behind closed doors. Besides just the issues of dealing with energy vampires, and of presenting a good front to the public, there is the quite common concern of being oppressed if your sexuality ever was discovered. I personally think the fear is a little overestimated, but if someone tells me they are afraid their neighbors or coworkers discover what it is they do, then I have to be understanding of their choice to remain in the closet. Fear or no fear.
But I find all this in stark contrast to the sexual privacy rights of the vanilla community. If a nonkinky heterosexual couple want to keep their lovemaking behind closed doors, why is the assumption that they are a bunch of uptight prudes with a backward view of sex? Damn those evil Christians for thinking that sex is something shameful and that it needs to be hidden!
A recent thread on a newsgroup I read addressed the issue of privacy in a more general sense. The main point was to debunk the notion that the only reason to hide anything is because you are doing something wrong. In the context of that debate it was in regard to government surveillance. But even then the idea was clear. Just because you want something to be hidden, dosent mean that the something you are hiding is wrong or immoral.
If the kink community can be private about their sexuality without thinking that sexuality is wrong, they why not afford the same rights to non kinky folks. Cant someone hide vanilla sex without thinking that vanilla sex is shameful?