unity
From time I see people floating the theory that such-and-such group needs to be formed in order to bring the entire BDSM community together in one big happy family. I wrote this over a year ago to use as a standard copy/paste in response to that. I place it here just so I can have a reference to it when needed. Feel free to use it yourself to copy/paste anyone suggesting a call for community unity.
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Regarding the call for ‘unity’ and togetherness in the BDSM community. It will never work. This is why it will never work …..
[-] D/s is only what some of us want, not what all of us want.
[X] Living 24/7 is only what some of us want, not what all of us want.
[X] ‘High Protocol’ is only what some of us want, not what all of us want.
[X] ‘Real life’ non-cyber is only what some of us want, not what all of us want.
[X] The ones making the rules for the group have no accountability.
[X] Admission to the group is unrealistically high.
[-] Admission to the group is unrealistically low.
[-] Violates the confidentiality of people who wish to keep their sex life private.
[-] Mandates the confidentiality of people are open and expressive about their sexuality.
[-] It would be easy to fake your way into having others believe you are part of the group.
[-] Nobody would want to join this.
[-] Everyone would join and then the distinction would be meaningless.
[X] The only people who would want to join are the ones who are tryign to prove how ‘real’ they are.
[-] The only people who would want to join are the ones who are looking for fast and easy sex.
[-] The only people who would want to join are the ones who only want to do what is trendy and what everyone else is doing.
[X] Anyone who actually is held in high regard by the BDSM community would never be convinced to join.
[-] It would make it to easy for a jilted ex-lover to ruin another’s reputation.
[-] We don’t actually live in the police state that it is assumed we do.
[-] We don’t actually live in the puritanical society it is assumed we do.
[X] BDSM is not actualy deeper or stronger or on a higher level compared to anyone else.
[X] The ‘crisis’ to the BDSM community is not very large or very dangerous and therefore dosen’t need fixed.
[-] It excludes and devalues switches.
[X] It excludes and devalues fetishists.
[X] It excludes and devalues furries (but who dosen’t?)
[X] It excludes and devalues ‘bedroom’ kinksters.
[X] It excludes and devalues swingers or other people with multiple partners.
[X] It excludes and devalues vanilia people who support BDSM legal rights.
[-] Predators could easily exploit the system.
[-] It would only work for two weeks and then we would be back to the same problem.
[-] Would requires the ‘posers and wannabes’ to corporate with your idea.
[-] Would require every single person in the BDSM community to adopt this all at the same time.
[-] Doesn’t account for variation in small local communities.
[-] Dosen’t account for variation between nations, regions, or cultures.
[X] Dosen’t account for the fact that people can and do go by multiple different names.
[-] Doesn’t account for the fact that people can be asshats.
[X] Assumes that all people think the old ways are the best ways.
[-] Assumes that all people think that things must change with the changing times.
[-] It would only cause some other group to instantly spring up claiming they were the true voice of the community.
[-] This would be censorship and censorship sucks.
[-] People don’t like being told what is or is not the ‘right’ thing to do sexually, even if the person saying it is someone on the inside.
[-] It might make a few people feel all warm and happy inside, but it wouldn’t accomplish anything.
It should be pointed out that this is not the first time such an idea has been proposed. It didn’t work then so its unlikely to work now.