Is it realy that hard to understand?
Considering the folowing two senerios
….. first …..
THEM: Hello Sir.
ME: Howdy, and please just call me Jack.
THEM: Oh, sorry about that. Its habbit. Jack it is then.
ME: Thats ok. I understand that it just becomes habbit after a while.
….. second …..
THEM: Hello Sir.
ME: Howdy, and please just call me Jack.
THEM: Sir, yes sir! Sir if sir wishes for me to address sir by SirJack sir, then sir will be called sirjack sir.
ME: Look, ya dont have to be a dick about it.
THEM: Sir, yes sir, sir. If sir dosent wish to be called sirjacksir, then sir should sir of the sir sir with sir sir sir. Sir.
ME: Holy shit dude. What the fuck is your problem anyway?
THEM: Sir sir sir. Sir sir sir, sir sir. Sir siring sir sir Sir.
ME: Fuckit. Whatever then. I dont have time to wast on this crap. ~walks away~
THEM: ~folowing along behind me~ Sir! Sir sir? Sir, sir sir.
ME: ~continues to walk away, trying to ignore them~
THEM: ~still folowing~ Sir? Sir sir, Sir sir sir sir sir sir sir sir sir sir.
ME: ~spinign to face them and yelling~ WILL YOU CUT IT THE FUCK OUT!!!!!
THEM: Hey, cant you take a joke?
The first senerios dosent piss me off. The second one does piss me off. I woudl like to think that it would be fairly clear what the difrence between them is. But I guess its not.
From the JerkeyBoys to Tom Green, american humor tastes have somehow got the notion that pissing people off is somehow ‘funny’. Its rooted in the gradeshcool bullys playing keepaway with the unpolupar kids backpack. The more upset and frustrated the unpopular kid becomes, the ‘funnier’ the bullies think it is.
It isnt funny. Its just rude.
The kink comunity likes to pat itself on the bad about how everything is based on ‘consent’. But this is one area where consent dosent matter in the slightest. The more I say ‘no’ or ‘cut it out’ that only INCREASES the amount that action occours. Not decrease it.
And there is absoutly no recource I can find to the situation. As carefuly and slowly as I try and explain that I dont think its ~funny~ to disregard my right to say no, it always comes back that the person ignore my right to say no completely fails to see what it is that I am actualy pissed off about?
Someone walking past me steps on my foot. I say ‘Oh, careful there’ and they say ’sorry’ then thats no problem. Someone walks past me and steps on my foot and I say ‘oh, careful there’ and they instantly step on my foot again. And then again. I see them a week later and before even saying hello they rush up to me and step on my foot. I try and avoid them and they folow along behind me trying repetadly to step on my foot again. Its NOT that them steping on my foot is what makes me mad. Its them going out of their way to ignore my right to say no that pisses me off. ….. But good luck trying to get that through the thick skull of the nitwhit thats taunting me. In their eyes they will assume its the ’steping on foot’ thing that is making me mad and totaly fail to see that it is actualy the ‘ignoreing my right to say no’ thing that is pissing me off.
I wish I could find a solution. Its been the ruin of over a dozen friendships I used to have. Ruined friendships that still cary scars now years later. Sometimes its being called sir and me askign thtem not to. Sometimes its me saying I dont want to scene with anyone and getting pushed into it anyway. Once at a kink party it was someones birthday and they were getting spankings. When it was suggested that I should spank them too I declined. Then I was pushed and harased and vilified and naged constantly that I sould do it anyway despite me having said no. And once, when I was feeling very pissed off about having yet again had my right to say no ignored, I just wanted to walk away and forget about it all. Thats when a friend came up and demanded that I talk about it. I answred ‘I dont feel like talking right now” and they pushed on anyway. I said “Look, Im just not in the mood right now. Can we just drop the subject” and they pushed right on anyway. I said “Dammit! I do NOT want to talk about this so will you shut up already? and they kept right on pushing. And in each case, it wasent the person/people pushing at me never did realise that what was pissing me off was my right to say no being ignored. They all just assmed that it was the scening/spanking/talking that is what was making me mad.
Being called by a title dosent piss me off. As secernio one pointed out, if I get called sir and the other person dosent act like a dick about it then Im find. Its when I get called by a title, I ask them not to, and they go out of their way to intentionaly piss me off by doing the very thign I had just asked them not to do ….. that is what pisses me off.