Jack Elfrink Dot Com

I hate the movie ‘The Little Mermaid’. I view it as a perfect example of just how fucked up people can be regarding relationships.

Ariel is obsessed with the human world. Its a burning desire that she feels to the very depth of her soul. She is absolutely convinced that her life as a mermaid sucks and is absolutely convinced that if she could just be a part of the human world then life would be perfect. But her knowledge of this world is hopelessly flawed. A seagull feeds her misinformation and distortions about what that world is. The rather tragic fact that she is in love with something that only exists in her mind is portrayed in the film as comedic.

Things only get worse when she sees her ‘one true love’. Though she has never met this man, never talked to him, knows nothing of his personality, and is herself unknown by him, that doesn’t stop her from convincing herself that this is a love that is meant to be. Where I come from, that kind of relationship is called a obsessed fan or celebrity stalker.

But dammit, she just knows this is true love. And since true love is worth any sacrifice she tosses away her whole life. Gives up her existence as a mermaid, puts her entire family at risk, and gives up her voice, all in pursuit of chasing down the object of her obsseission.

And once we get up to the surface and finally get to know the object of her obsseission, we discover that he is so shallow of a person that he would be willing to get married to someone else based only on the sound of her voice.

But since this is a Disney film, the whole thing ends up being ‘true love’ after all. They don’t show Ariels culture shock as she discovered that everything that the seagull has told her about the world she fell in love with turns out to be a lie. They don’t show years later on the episode of C.O.P.S. where Prince Eric, dressed in a wife beater t-shirt, is hauled off in cuffs while Ariel screams ‘I love him. Dont take him, he means the world to me. Im nothing withiout him. I wont be able to survive without him around’.

Fuck that.

What everyone else calls true love I call codependency. When an alcoholic looses their job, looses their home, looses their family, all because alcohol is more important to them than anything, we call that horrible. But when someone who has ‘true love’ looses their job, looses their home, looses their family, all because the person they love is more important to them than anything, we glorify that because true love is worth any sacrifice. If ya have to give up more, that just means the love is that much deeper and stronger.

So why does it matter to me? If someone believes that what they are doing is for ‘true love’ who am I to say that its wrong? Well, it dosent matter to me. Not really. If they want to screw up their life chasing after what they just in the bottom of their soul KNOW is the higher calling, then I aint going to stop them.

Why it matters to me is that this kind of crap is presented as the core foundation of the kink lifestyle. Im sure you have seen the websites. All done up with pink and lavender with animated .gif files of beating hearts and a huge .jpeg of an oil painting of a woman in silken robes sitting by a waterfall. And page after page of bad poetry about how BDSM has helped her on her ‘journey’.

The master-slave relationship is the default assumption. The slave gives up everything, tosses her entire life away, and devotes her entire existence to her master. I am not that way. And because I am not that way I am forever runining into people that tell me I must be new to the scene and haven’t yet discovered that the the serve-and-obey lifestyle is the core fundamental foundation of what it is that we do. Then they pat me on the head and tell me not to worry. As soon as I find the right slave then I will see the truth. Just wait and give it time.

Ten years. Im still waiting for this miracle day to come along where I realize this whole stupid rope bondage thing Im doing is just a phase and that 24/7 total ownership is what I was meant for all along.

The very first BDSM workshop I ever went to was at P.E.P. StLouis on the topic of ‘what it takes to be a true master’. The person giving the presentation spent 2 hours talking about how he was even more 24/7 than people who were 24/7. And trying to convert everyone in the audience into believing that his relationship of total ownership of another with no limits and no questions is the goal they should all be striving for.

The first munch group that I was active in had a couple that everyone admired. The woman in this couple had walked out on her husband and kids to go live with someone they had met online. Everyone in the munch group (but me) looked up to her because she had the courage and guts to actually follow her true self.

The first convention I ever went to had a woman there. She had sold her house and given all the money to her master. She sold all of her positions except for one change of clothes and her car and given the money to her master. She drove halfway across the country to go live with him full time. When she got there she burned the last set of clothes she owned and sold her car giving the money to her master. She then had his name branded into her leg with a wire coathanger that he heated up over the stove. (By the way, this was only the second time the two of them had met face to face.) The only thing she did in life now was serve him and run a website where she bragged that she had accomplished what others only dare hope to accomplish.

Having a woman who will center her life on me holds all the appeal of being attacked by a vampire. The undead have no life on their own, so in order to survive must feed on the life of another. I don’t want that. All I want is a girlfriend.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, November 14th, 2007 at 3:51 pm and is filed under not what you think. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.